i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Randomize
