Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
