I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
