You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
