I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Randomize