Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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