ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
