There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
