Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
