Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
