Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
