So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
