Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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