I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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