He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
