like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
