tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
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