ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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