My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
