i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
