this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
