I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
