Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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