do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I wish I could teleport
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
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