Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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