Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize