people are starting to question the shark bite story
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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