P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
