Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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