Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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