I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
