I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
