I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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