Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
