I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
