Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize