Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
