I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
He did a backflip because drugs
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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