I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
