I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
