Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
