I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Randomize