Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
