i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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