If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
