This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
