What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
