im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
