she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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