I like my sex mixed with concussions.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
