this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I think a kid would responsible me up
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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