Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
