i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
