Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
