All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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