I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
