i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize