I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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