But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
love makes seman taste better
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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